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Posted by / 10-Nov-2020 04:58

Mirroring psychology dating

Teach them about learning from their mistakes and growing.

I am a big fan of Gottman's work, not only with helping romantic relationships thrive but also in how to raise children to enhance their future relationships.

These can be simple when they are very young, and get more complex as they age. Show them unconditional love with boundaries for behavior. Love your children unconditionally and express love to them in multiple ways.

Help them to understand that there are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and that certain behaviors have positive or negative consequences, but whatever behaviors they exhibit they are still loved and there is always an opportunity for growth in the mistakes they make.

Children will model and emulate the ways their parents show love to one another.

Also, how love was expressed to the child is also significant.

Another example, a person may be hyper vigilant to criticism and argue frequently with partners because their same-sex parent had difficulty advocating for themselves and became a "doormat" in the relationship.

We tend to want to emulate our parent's relationship when it is perceived as healthy and positive.

RB: Groundbreaking research in the 1960s and 1970s by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth assisted in our understanding of attachment theory.

We then seek out and desire that same attachment style as an adult.

If we had an insecure attachment develop with our parents, then we may have a fragmented sense of self, which may lead to low self-esteem, anxiety in relationships, doubt that we can trust others, and sometimes being more apt to seek out relationships that mimic this same attachment—not because it feels good but because it is familiar to us.

Modern dating is fraught with challenges in this fast-paced, technology-fueled world, but no matter how chaotic our schedules are or what obstacles life throws in our path, we all drop everything in the name of love.

Because as John Lennon said, "love is all you need." But how you give and receive it is greatly influenced and shaped by one or two very important people in your life: your parents. D., licensed clinical psychologist and co-owner of Bergen Counseling Center in Chicago, told My Domaine that our first experience with this emotion is with our parents, and those early years set the bar for how we see, give, and receive love, and what we want out of relationships later in our lives.

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This attachment style also affects how we experience ourselves, and in turn how we are in relationships." Ahead, Bergen explains how our childhood experiences provide a model for our adult relationships, what we can do to break a negative cycle, and how we can raise the next generation.