Dating a man who is too nice
The Good Men Project recently pondered, what’s a man without money? I’ve never been one to focus on money — my own or someone else’s — or see it as a path to happiness.
Now that I’m at midlife, however, and helping to get two kids through college, hoping to retire one day, and dealing with the never-ending costs of living (my broken clavicle cost me of money, despite my health insurance, and my car appears to have an electrical problem, no doubt a pricey problem, that I need to deal with ASAP), I think about money a wee bit more.
However, there is another large group of men and women who actually should date people they’re not immediately attracted to, and I will tell you why!
If you came from a chaotic home as a child or if one of your parents was gone or not very available to you when you were young, you probably sought out romantic partners in your adult life who didn’t focus on your needs, either.
I am fortunate to have a wonderful longtime partner (who, as an educator, knows all about small salaries), but I sometimes wonder what would happen if I lost my job and was looking for love — would I be marriage material (assuming I even wanted to marry again, that is, which I don’t), or even dateable? ); by virtue of my gender alone, yes — I would probably be viable relationship material.
All you can ever be is your financial status, and place in the social pyramid.It was actually easier without him.” I’m sure I’m not the only girl growing up whose mother told her that it’s just as easy to love a rich guy as it is to love a poor one.A few years ago, the book — boys get the same message, and even in this presumably enlightened age, I just can’t see a parent encouraging a son to “marry up.” Earlier this summer, a study (OK, funded by a credit report agency so I take it with a grain of salt) indicated financial responsibility and financial compatibility was more important or just as important as career ambition, physical attraction and sex and intimacy, especially for women.The red pill says that women are only capible of viewing men as whatever they can contribute financially, and their place in the social order.It says that while men are capable of loving and feeling protective instincts towards women, women are incapable of this response.
It never even occurred to me to worry about such things (I’ve never discussed credit ratings with a partner), but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have paid it attention when it seemed like things were getting serious.