Dating a drunk
Sometimes after a few whiskeys, you just wanna see the world burn... and maybe get some greasy tacos from Jack in the Box... Plus, any number of your friends will happily tackle you and take your phone away to prevent you from drunk texting someone you've just started dating.After all, conventional wisdom is that drunk texting = fail.It’s easy to know when someone doesn’t read my profile. I have the comfort of knowing that when he goes in for that first kiss, and the moment is totally fairy-tale-in-real-life magical, I’m going to remember it. You can often find her dishing about The Bachelor, hiking up mountains or having way too much fun with colorful eye shadow. As soon as a guy asks if he can take me out for drinks, I know he only skimmed my dating profile, if that. Because when you’re completely sober, it’s awfully hard to find the courage and recklessness you need to justify banging a stranger knowing full well that you’ll never see him again. Some drink more than others, but it’s still a pastime for most people. No, I won’t go for the guys whose only pictures are of them hoisting solo red cups in the air, but I certainly won’t discount a guy just because he has a love for craft beers. Speaking of over sharing your feelings, drunkenly texting at 3 a.m. Yes, maybe now you have enough liquid courage to finally address what’s been on your mind, but do you really think you’re in any shape to have a productive conversation? Then in the morning, after hydrating and lots of bread, re-read what you wrote and 1) thank me for this advice 2) have a sober conversation with them about what you realized you feel last night. Is it just a quick good night and I’m thinking ‘bout cha? Sending rando texts without a plan increases your chances of sending something embarrassing that you’ll regret in the morning. And if they are gonna get all judgmental about it, that's lame. I’m not going to lie to you though, there are still plenty of pitfalls ahead. Listen player, if you’re trying to get into the drunk texting game, you gotta do it like a boss and that means having a modicum of restraint. If you were to ask anyone for a guide to drunk texting, their answer will probably be some variation of: "Just, don't." But where's the fun in that?
As a bartender, I’ve helped facilitate hundreds of first dates, and I’ve seen it all — the good, the bad, and the deeply awkward.
But if I just say yes, he’s likely to be very confused once I start ordering Shirley Temples. You know what has all the positives of “getting a drink” with none of the negatives? You can be in and out if the date doesn’t go well, and you can always sit in that cozy coffee shop for hours downing hot cocoa after hot cocoa while you bond over you both having gone to summer camp as kids. Whether it’s a potential date or a new friend, there are some serious assumptions when you say you don’t drink. Then one day I learn he’s at a party and when I say that it would have been cool to go, he says, “But you don’t drink. ), so if you ask me to go to either, I’ll probably say yes. Speaking of which…One-night-stands probably aren’t going to happen.
Most people think it’s for religious reasons (it’s not), and I even had one person assume I was a recovering alcoholic (definitely not). I didn’t think you’d like to go to a party.” This problem has been following me around since I was a teenager. Plus, even if I say no, it still feels good when to get asked. It feels incredibly awkward to me that some people can think so negatively about me when they learn I don’t drink. I don’t like to lose self-control, and that makes me the odd one out.
That place is yours and yours alone, and should stay that way until you get to know your date better.
DO: Choose a bar with decent music and a good crowd, but isn’t too loud or too mobbed.
Don't worry, these rules aren't going to be to complicated, because after all — you're wasted.