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As with other addictions, tolerance to cybersex stimulation can develop, prompting the addict to take more and more risks to recapture the initial high, Dr. Online viewing that began as a harmless recreation can become an all-consuming activity and even lead to real sexual encounters with people met online.
Cybersex compulsives can become so involved with their online activities that they ignore their partners and children and risk their jobs. Cooper's survey, 20 percent of the men and 12 percent of the women reported they had used computers at work for some sexual pursuits.
'' How can I compete with hundreds of anonymous others who are now in our bed, in his head? '' Our bed is crowded with countless faceless strangers, where once we were intimate.'' A 38-year-old woman married 18 years to a man who compulsively masturbates to images on the computer wrote that her husband had once had an extramarital affair and that ''the online 'safe' cheating has just as dirty, filthy a feel to it as does the 'real-life' cheating.'' Although Dr.
Cooper's survey indicates that most female cybersex addicts are single, married women also become cybersex addicts and their husbands suffer the consequences.
'' Sex on the Net is just so seductive and it's so easy to stumble upon it,'' she said.
'' People who are vulnerable can get hooked before they know it.'' To those who say a behavioral compulsion is not a true addiction, Dr.
The survey found that as many as a third of Internet users visited some type of sexual site.
Several mothers in her survey were worried because their husbands surfed the Net while supposedly watching their children, who got to view the pornography and sometimes the masturbation.While social and safety concerns and fear of discovery may prevent someone from visiting an adult bookstore or prostitute, there are no such constraints when pornography and sexual partners can be called up at any time of the day or night on a computer screen in one's home or office, Dr. To those who say '' What's the harm?They're not risking disease or death,'' Dr.Partners commonly reported feeling betrayed, devalued, deceived, ignored and abandoned and unable to compete with a fantasy.Among them was a 34-year-old woman married 14 years to a minister who she discovered was compulsively seeking sexual satisfaction by visiting pornographic sites on the Internet.
Children may also suffer as a result of increasing conflict between the parents or breakup of the marriage.