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And those willing to discuss matters openly are equally rare.
And to even begin such discussions, what is needed is a healthy dose of facing up to the fact that how Muslims live their lives is not necessarily the same as the Islamic ideals they aspire to.
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Sex is of course for procreation, but it’s also for pleasure.
The Prophet went to see the husband, admonished him for being too engrossed in religious prayer and instructed him to, erm, pay more attention to his bride. Whilst engaged, my now husband and I attended a ‘pre-marriage’ seminar, one of the first of its kind in the UK. It wasn’t very good, but nonetheless, I was pleased that the subject was raised and the taboo broken.
This openness has been lost over time, and discussions about sex have become taboo. Wedad Lootah is a UAE marriage counsellor who published an Arabic sex guide, Top Secret: Sexual Guidance for Married Couples, on how to achieve sexual intimacy with your partner, stating couples needed the advice. Jenny is an Irish Muslim organising a similar two part seminar for young women only, the first on marriage, the second on intimacy.
A famous Islamic traditional teaching about sexual pleasure says that when God created desire, He made it into ten parts. So it’s no wonder women are leaving men behind when it comes to trying to better understand their sexuality, as well as the relationship between their sexuality and their faith.
Shelina Janmohamed is the author of Love in a Headscarf - Muslim Woman Seeks the One. She is the Vice President of Ogilvy Noor, the world's first branding agency for Muslim consumers, and one of 'Britain's Future female leaders of the advertising industry' according to the Institute of Practitioners in Advertising.
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